Where do you draw the line? 

Professional boundaries define effective and appropriate interaction between professionals and the public they serve, and exist to protect both the Professional and the Client. Boundaries also protect the relationships between same level colleagues and to ensure authority is not abused in positions of power. In my experience, boundaries are not well understood and are the cause of many "sticky" issues that simply could have been avoided with a bit of knowledge. "Boundaries" need to named and understood clearly if an organisation or workplace is committed to the highest standards of professionalism. 

Keeping your social life separate from work allows you and others to focus solely on what is important at work. There is no risk that we'll be judged at work for getting drunk at Jim's party last Saturday, and your secrets aren't going to spill out at morning tea and add themselves to the office gossip. Information about your private life can be abused and will compromise your credibility if it reaches the wrong ears - and it will... it's just a matter of time. Because Socialising is in a box called "let your hair down, have some fun and open up" you put yourself at risk of your behaviour being mentioned out of context when you are in your work box. When this happens your information is misused, and it breaks trust. For anyone who has been there - it's not a comfortable feeling. Essentially your private life should not impact on your professional life, but the smallest things can and do affect opportunities such as promotions etc. Socializing with members of staff that are in positions of power bring their own set of difficulties. Such relationships observed by other employees create segregation and mistrust of both parties. Managers are often required to "address" issues and "discipline" staff. The ability to effectively carry out these tasks is often severely compromised by the blurred boundaries, and as a result sends mixed messages to others - further breaking trust, and leading to more problems.

Every staff member has a responsibility to learn what appropriate professional/social boundaries are in order to protect themselves, their job and their future.  How clear are you around this issue? 

Many people in the "helping" and "caring" fields (including mothers & fathers) experience burn-out and exhaustion. We are conditioned from an early age to "give", however many of us aren't taught how to receive! Sometimes learning to receive comes in the extreme form of a hospital bed, which isn't ideal. Caring for ourselves is as important as caring for those others in our lives... in fact, we do it better when we balance our needs and theirs. Here's why:

• By keeping our own energy reserves up, we offer a better quality care.
• Better quality of care/time often means less is needed (quantity).
• Giving poor quality time/care is detrimental on all fronts therefore there is less likely to be a return on investment ie appreciation.
• Without appreciation, giving becomes a thankless chore often resulting in bitterness and resentment.
• Ongoing bitterness and resentment lead to (over time) an alteration of our cellular structure giving rise to particular diseases.

• Your children thrive, when you are thriving. They learn that it's OK to take time out for themselves, because you are actually role-modelling that (not just saying it!) giving them permission to engage in the activities that bring them joy and energise them. Your patients and clients feel valued more by you, as opposed to being a burden. Appreciation is shown more - contributing to your sense of value. Allow someone to do something for you this week, and resist the urge to do anything - except say THANK YOU. You'll have just given someone else a wonderful gift - an opportunity for them to give something to you.
  
  

​Recently a friend told me about an incident at her work. She was upset because when her manager had talked about the incident with her, he had also discussed one of her colleagues, under the guise of "sorting it out". Even though there are no serious implications, she felt uncomfortable and doesn't feel she can trust her manager. As she said to me "If he talked about (colleagues name) with me in that way, how do I know what he says about me?"
Very valid point - and one of the quickest ways to erode team trust. Rather than operating in a safe and secure environment employees engage their "on alert" button, which manifests in the following behaviours:
Unease when colleagues visit the boss's office and shut the door. (What are they talking about - Is it me? What have I done wrong?)

• Guardedness around colleagues who were previously "safe"
• Defensive and accusatory behaviour
• "buttering up" behaviour towards boss
• Lack of enthusiasm for work
• Joining the "gossip" group, or, conversely isolating oneself

As a Manager, demonstrate neutrality, fairness and discretion when dealing with inter-team issues. Taking this approach every single time sends a strong message to the team that you won't be "caught in" and, that they can all expect a fair and impartial relationship.

​A few years ago I owned a childcare centre. I was out the front picking some foliage off a shrub hidden from the footpath when I over-heard a snippet of conversation between two women. "Did you see that? Those two staff there, just standing chatting" "Yes, while that little boy was throwing sand at the other one..." "Yes, I know,,,"
This was a precious lesson to me. I turned to observe the scene that was visible from the kerb - the sand incident was being addressed. Less than 60 seconds later, but too late to be observed by the passers-by. On investigation I found that the staff discussion was work related, however the reminder of "wrong time, wrong place" was timely. The "snap shot" the two woman took (a moment in time) will have created a lasting impression which becomes their truth. This negative picture has shaped their belief about the centre and this is what they will tell others.  

Take a step back from your business and look at it through the eyes of a potential client for 60 seconds. Are you pleased with what you see? What could be improved? Encourage your staff do the same.